Never-Nude
(Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism)

The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row; it seems farther than ever before. I need you so much closer...

So the pictures below are from my grandma’s 80th birthday party. We hopped in the shake-mobile on a Friday morning and headed 8 hrs south to the heart of America just to celebrate it with her. Highlights from the trip were...

- Spending 2 hrs finding my passport that was cleverly hidden in my bag by Sidekick Sonia.
- Watching my dad roll down the window every 30 minutes to have a cigarette. I’m convinced that chain smoking is a term that was coined for him in particular.
- Getting tired 6 hrs into the drive and letting my dad drive my car. For a brief moment I forgot that he barely knew how to drive his automatic oldsmobile, let alone my standard Mazda. 45 minutes of yelling “2ND GEAR COMES AFTER 1ST GEAR!!” and “YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE CLUTCH DOWN WHEN SHIFTING!!” and watching him stall at every toll booth, my patience wore thin and I kindly asked him to pull over to let me drive the last hour.
- Arriving at my uncle’s 2.5 million dollar home and drooling like a little kid in a candy store when I realize he has a tennis court in his 4 acre backyard and a swimming pool.
- Watching the first full season of Arrested Development on my laptop (thanks for the DVD Garry!). Is there really such a psychological affliction as “Never-Nude”? Steve Holt!
-Good times and good food with the family!

...

On the trip I played hide and seek with a few of my little cousins. Kids are fun but a little stupid. I would hide in some really obvious places and they would never find me. On one particular occasion I had hid underneath my air mattress. If you’re playing with adults, this isn’t the best place to hide since the air mattress doesn’t look level and it’s slightly off the ground when you’re underneath it. With kids however, they don’t notice those finer details so they run on by and totally bypass the air mattress.

About 2 minutes after I hid underneath the air mattress I hear my mom say, “I’m getting really tired, I think I’m going to take nap.” And she lays right down on top of the air mattress. Then I she yells to my sisters, “Hey girls, you guys look tired, you should come take a nap with me on this air mattress!” So 3 of them pile onto the mattress and I hear them laughing hysterically. I of course am now stuck underneath this mattress and 4 women. I quietly yelp, “I’m going to hunt each of you down and hurt you after I get out of here.” More laughter ensues.

Then I hear my mom yell out, “Hey kids, we’re all taking a group nap, you should come join us! Come on, JUMP ON!!” So one by one, they all literally JUMP ON. So now there’s an air mattress, 4 women and 4 kids lying on top of me and I’m starting to get a little suffocated soI turn my head sideways so I can get some air.

After enduring this for about 5 minutes, they finally get off the bed and I of course chase each and every one of my sisters and mother down to hurt them. They all got bruises on their leg!

The kids however, still couldn’t find me.
...

See everyone at the Steve Nash Charity game tonight!